I have wanted to write this post for months and months, actually I think longer. It started when I saw Megan share all her body positive posts. I knew I had a story to tell but I just couldn’t get the words out. So the post has just swum around in my head for ages, growing and changing and ultimately ending in today’s post AND a mini campaign of sorts.
I figured the best way to “force” myself to publish this post was to get a few other moms on board to share their stories and in turn hold me accountable to share mine. So that is exactly what I did. I approached a group of moms who I felt has a story to tell and together, over the next 4 weeks we will be sharing our body positive stories.
I have blogged about my struggle to accept my changing body, I allude to it a lot and to be honest it is something I have struggled with since I was a teenager. I turn 40 this year and figure it is time for me to make peace with my body and give myself a break.
I recently listed to Lindy West’s audio book called Shrill and something shifted a little in me. It is an incredibly powerful book, if you haven’t read it, get it NOW! There is a whole chapter on how fat people are treated by airlines and passengers that made me cringe and I don’t think I will ever travel the same way again.
She said something that, for me, was one of Oprahs light bulb moments. She said
you can’t advocate for yourself if you won’t admit what you are
I accept I am a mother, so I fight for my rights as a mother. I accept I am a women, so I advocate for myself as a women. I am a wife, a sister, a business owner and more. I advocate for myself when it comes to all of those roles. I accept them and I am proud of them.
Up until very recently I have not accepted that I am not ever going to be a size 10. I am never not going to have rolls and a muffin top. I am a big women. I have broad shoulders, I have never not had had a bit of a tummy. I have never had a tiny waist. It is not how I was born. I am never going to wear a string bikini or a tank top that shows my mid-riff!
AND THAT IS OK! I am ok with it because I am MORE than my body and I am tired of letting that part of me define who I am and in many ways hold me back from things.
Accepting my body means I can start advocating for my rights. It means I can change the way I talk to my girls about their bodies. It means I don’t have to accept the ill fitting clothes retail outlets force on me. It means I can challenge the comments that judge women on their weight.
It means I have a voice as a women rolls.
When I started chatting to bloggers one of the things I didn’t really want to focus on was the narrative “my body is awesome because I am a mom”. Of course having babies is awesome and our bodies need a high 5 but it is not the reason I need to love my body.
My body has seen 4 caesars, a hip replacement, numerous hip and back surgeries (I think 4/5), tonsil and wisdom teeth removal – my body has been throug1h a lot – I think it deserves that piece of cake dammit!!!
As moms, particularly, we need to change that narrative to “I love my body because it is awesome.”
It has taken me ages to write this post and I am not even sure I am getting my message across but we need to celebrate who we are in our entirety. We need to take our power back as women. If I had spent as much time on blogging as I did on worrying about what to wear and how many calories I am consuming I would probably have double the number of blog posts!
I will share with you all the other bloggers stories as they share them over the next few weeks!
It is time for us to bring a new type of sexy back!
I am going to leave you with this quote from Lindy West because it is incredibly powerful
“when you pit women against one another, keep us shackled by shame and hunger, obsessing over our flaws rather than our power and potential; when you leverage all of that to sap our money and our time—that moves the rudder of the world. It steers humanity toward conservatism and walls and the narrow interests of men, and it keeps us adrift in waters where women’s safety and humanity are secondary to men’s pleasure and convenience”
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