Is resilience really a strength?
“The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived. Robert Jordan, The Fires of Heaven

We view resilience as a strength. Look how strong that person is, they have survived so much! They are so resilient.
I can tell you now, for free, no one wants to be resilient. There are no kids in the play ground thinking “When I grow up I want to deal with one setback after another so I can show off my resilience”.
We are resilient because there is, often, no other choice.
If your kid gets sick, what are you going to do? Run away? No you have to dig deep and fight to get through.
If you lose your job, what are you going to do? Binge watch Netflix for months, no you have to get up, show up and make it happen.
If you get sick, what are you going to do? Die? No you fight as hard as you can.
The world is plunged into a pandemic, what are you going to do? Let your anxiety eat you alive? No, you get up every day and bake bread!
No one is resilient because they want to be. I don’t know why we throw the word resilience around like its some kind of badge of honor, its not and if I am honest I am kinda over being resilient.
I am tired of getting up every day and stepping into quick sand.
I am tired of trying to put one foot in front of the other and getting pushed back.
I am tired of watching my kids struggle to find their feet in a world that seems so much more unforgiving that it was when I was their age.
I am tired of dealing with crippling and constant anxiety.
I am tired of being resilient.
But what other choice is there? So we cry the tears, put on our big girl panties and carry on being resilient because what other choice do we have?
One Response
Your honest reflection on resilience is powerful. It’s true that people often become resilient out of necessity, not desire. The challenges of life can be exhausting, but your determination to keep going despite it all is a testament to your strength. Keep pushing forward.