I am not sure we will every full escape mom guilt. I work from home and am there to fetch my kids after school, I attend most of their sport commitments and even manage a craft or two now and then, yet the guilt is real.
There are days (sometimes weeks) where I work too much. I have been late for school pick ups because of meetings or client commitments. I have missed school events and forgotten to buy things they need for school. There is seldom enough money to meet everyone’s needs at the same time. Sometimes I am too tired to cook and throw something that resembles food together.
Sometimes I just get it wrong and the balls drop, and I do wonder if working in an office with set times would not maybe be better. Maybe then I would remember stuff and I wouldn’t have to work when I am home, and life would be easier.
I know its not as easy as that – every situation and every choice we make as parents has consequences for both us and our kids. Most of these decisions come with some level of guilt, right?
I try hard not to beat myself about things. As a family we have chosen to do things this way. It works for us, even on the days it doesn’t. We involve our kids a lot in the planning and decision making of our lives. Our decisions affect them, and we talk to them a lot about things and get their input and thoughts. I am all about team work and I am pretty proud of how well we work together as a unit. It makes life a little easier and makes everyone feel important.
This is also how I manage the mom guilt as well. When things don’t work out how I want them to (or how the kids want them to) I talk to them and explain why I need to miss the sport event or why I am going to be late. It doesn’t always make everything ok but when they know why, they are a little more understanding which eases my guilt.
I also try not to let the small stuff stress me out too much. Is forgetting about baker man really such a big deal? Is sending Spar cupcakes really the end of the world? Is missing one gala out of 132451154 something to beat myself up for days for?
Sometimes you just have to shake it off and let it go.
Yes, I am very aware that these things are important to my kids and I don’t devalue that, but they also need to learn that not everything is a big deal, sometimes not getting it 100% right is ok.
This post has ended up a bit of a ramble. My point really was that as moms guilt is always going to be there, we are always going to feel it or find find something to feel guilty about.We just need to not let it control us or allow it to control us.