I suppose it was inevitable since I dont blog anonymously that I would meet men through my blog or through something related to my blog like twitter.
Which is how I met Mr Roses and now the most recent addition – who I still do not know what to call.
Now this opens up a whole new world of problems. It was a big thing for me when I started with Mr Roses – think we chatted about it on date 1. We move in the same circles, we have common friends, we go to the same places (when he is here) – so what happens when thing dont work?
Well as it turned out it was a non-issue for us. We have made the transition back to friendship pretty easily. YAY for happy endings?
I am not so sure. The friend issue is solved but what about the blogging? He still reads my blog and I dont mind it at all. BUT it does make me think twice about blogging things about a potential new fellow friend. I know how he feels about it so its more me projecting how I would feel if it were the other way around. It doesnt censor me – just makes me more aware of how I phrase things.
Then there is new people going forward. Mr New Boy and I are still very new but he reads my blog, every day. I dont mind. We did have to have the chat very early on about what he was comfortable with being shared versus what I wanted shared. The common consensus was that I can write about anything as long as he gets a heads up. Fair comment. I think.
What is so great about the person you dating NOT knowing about your blog is that you get to write about your fears, your hopes, your irritation, your anger. You get to work through it move on.
You cant really do that when the person has you in their reader.
Mr Sexy, Mr Ex and I suspect Soccer Boy on occasion also all read Harassed Mom. I cant ask them to stop. They know it exists. It will be like telling a child not to touch the cup cakes and then leaving them locked in a room 2 feet from the cakes.
So now the question – how do you deal with it?
Do you respect that persons wishes and keep things private and have to work through things on your own? Do you move your blog? Do you totally disregard their feelings and post it all and they have to deal with it? Do you password protect posts about them and not give them the passwords? Do you just not date people who know your blog exists?
It is a dilema.
14 Responses
Rascal didn’t want to read the blog. But he would still ask me what I was writing about him. I would tell him… just as I would tell him my feelings.
If he would have asked me not to write about him, I may have continued to write about my fears and such but not given him a blog name.
I guess it depends on the guy… and the relationship. Keep it honest.
Yeah, that’s such a tricky one. I especially didn’t tell my ex, Bean, about my blog, so I could be honest – our break-up was imminent when I started blogging. And having Varen know about & read my blog has caused problems for us … especially when we were in an on again off again phase in the beginning. I don’t know the answer. I definitely censor myself around my relationships and sex and whatnot on my blog. I guess you could either write but not post the things you want to get out of your head or just start up an actual anonymous blog elsewhere – but who has the time for two blogs? Good luck 🙂
I hear you Mama!
First: has any man objected to you blogging about him anonymously? It sounds like they’re fine with it… but it might put a damper on you, yes?
I get it. I really do.
You cant really do that when the person has you in their reader.
Mr Sexy, Mr Ex and I suspect Soccer Boy on occasion also all read Harassed Mom. I cant ask them to stop. They know it exists. It will be like telling a child not to touch the cup cakes and then leaving them locked in a room 2 feet from the cakes.
So now the question – how do you deal with it?
At the end of the day, I want to be with a man who understands that I’m a blogger — and supports me in this. He might not “get it,” but he’s on my side. Does that resonate with you, too?
SingleMomSeeking – nope noone has ever objected but there has been discussions as to the depth of information shared – which I do respect. But yes that “being a blogger” thing is who I am and is a big part of who I am – so they do need to get it!
It can be tricky, which was why Glugster and I decided to announce our relationship online on our respective blogs once we decided we were going to get serious about it all.
Blogging about my relationship has never been an option for me though. Not because I don’t want him to read it (and there’s not much to blog about since we don’t fight and have the most awesome… erm… nevermind)
😀
But for me its a case of not wanting to share all of that. There are some things I just don’t blog about.
I have my own seperate completely private blog where I go and vent and write about stuff thats going on- just to get it out of my head- but only I read it. Its where I post the stuff I know would bug me if I posted it on “Angel’s Mind”.
J knows about my blog but he never reads it, and he knows I blog about him but he doesn’t mind. He’s a really easy going guy.
Noid obviously reads my blog…. and yes, there are some things I do not blog about because I never want to cause hurt, confusion or change perceptions.
I think I need to blog about this. LOL
tricky isn’t it. Perhaps for me it’s diff as i’m a married gal. But i don’t blog about stuff too personal – not becoz i don’t want DH to read it, but becoz i don’t really think the whole world needs to know about it. After all, you’re never 100% sure who is reading your blog.
My ex did get given my blog addie as he wanted to check out blogger and how it worked. Wether or not he’s ever actually read what i write, who knows. But frankly i don’t care. He hurt me badly and if i choose to vent about him (as i have) that’s my perogative. Perhaps becoz he lives on the other side of the world and i never see him makes this easier.
I think you’ve got to work out what works best for you. It’s your blog and it’s about YOU afterall.
The men you get involved with need to know that it forms part of who you are – and they either like it or lump it!
i had a HUGE problem when my ex found my blog. he’d read back to a year before we hooked up and obsess about who posts were written about and when i posted something new, he’d pick every word to shreds. i eventually started another one that he didn’t know about so i could write about the stuff i didn’t want him to know. he still reads it and he STILL bitches and moans about what i write. only now, i don’t care.
Ithink you are very brave Laura!! I havent even let J know what my blog addy is!
You have a new boyfriend????????????????????????
some good issues here. globus has long deliberated whether his blog is better or worse for being anonymous, but in hindsight, it’s more liberating when the blogosphere and real life don’t collide methinks.
I hear ya. You know, every single person I know in real life knows my blog address and “Huckdoll”. But things are not always perfect. I have hopes and dreams and sadness about times past that I cannot write on my blog. So, I do it in a private blog that will never be found – just to get it all out. I know it’s not really the same scenario, but it does help – and I don’t end up hurting anyone like I’ve done in previous times when I’ve put it all out there on my main blog.
It’s great if someone I’m dating “gets” that I’m a blogger, but I respect her privacy first and foremost. I think it’s just wrong to put someone else’s details out in the open. I always change identifying details in stories I post.