fbpx

Kids, Phones and Social Media

A friend recently asked me about my thoughts on kids and phones and access. The purely coincidentally we had to deal with an issue that involved a kid (not mine), phone access and social media. I have written about this before but thought I would share my thoughts on this subject.

I have raised 4 kids in two different “eras”. Cameron and Kiara both got phones in their teenage years and it was unchartered territory for many of us at the time. The idea of kids having unlimited access to the internet was terrifying (and still is) so many parents controlled it quite a bit. Jack and Emma are Gen Alphas and they were born into the world of online life. They know no other way. They don’t know landlines, dial up internet and a world without Google. There generation have been handed a device as they pop out the womb (ok, maybe not as early as that).

My Approach

I have always had a liberal approach to online access for all 4 children. I started my online life when Cameron and Kiara were toddlers, the idea of asking their permission wasn’t really something we thought about because we didn’t have the hindsight we do now. I shared a lot of their lives and my life – pictures, stories etc. This blog is the story of their lives in every way. 

As social media evolved so did our interaction and awareness. We learnt how to be safe online as adults (well as safe as one can be) and many of us had bad experiences, were bullied, on the receiving end of hate comments etc. More learning, more evolving. 

It quickly became clear that social media was here to stay and would become an everyday part of all of our lives. Instead of fearing it, I chose to embrace it and when Cameron and Kiara got their phones/tablets I chose to teach them how to be online. We spoke a lot about who to reply to, what to share, what red flags they should be on the look out for etc. I had access to their phones and in those early days I did randomly check messages etc but for the most part, I left them to their own devices. Specifically for them their phones weren’t that important. But I was aware of what they were doing and we spoke a lot about how to react to certain situations etc. 

Jack and Emma got phones/tablets very young (probably too young). Initially we controlled what they downloaded, they weren’t allowed whatsapp etc. But again we spoke to them about online safety – who to speak to, what calls to answer, what messages to tell us about etc. We did limit their online time when they were younger but don’t do it anymore. They know we can check their phones at anytime.

Many of you are probably raising your eyebrows at this but the thing is, kids actually can learn themselves how to self-regulate. Sometimes Emma will spend hours watching shows, playing her games etc other days she will not look at her phone once. They both use their phones to research stuff they are interested in as well as checking out their favourite influencers etc. 

We still talk about online safety. We talk about random people messaging them. We talk about what content is appropriate for them to share and what not. We talk about the dangers of different platforms.

My Opinion

The internet in its entirety is going to be a part of our lives indefinitely. We can no longer try to avoid it or pretend it is not happening – it is here and it is here to stay.  Trying to shield our children from it is no longer practical. As parents, it is now our responsibility to teach our children how to be educated users in an age appropriate way. 

Whether you give your 6 year old or your 16 year old their first phone, you have to do so responsible. Talk to them about what they can/can’t do. If it is age appropriate, limit access to certain apps, limit their time online if you feel that is the right thing to do. But keep the channels of communication open, don’t make it something scary or bad. 

You can’t just give your child (of any age) a phone and say “have at the world wide web” and walk away – that is irresponsible and setting your child up for failure. You can also make sure your child is safe online without invading their privacy – keep talking to them, explain scenarios, check what they are sharing etc.

dav

Safety

There are so many apps available that allow you to “control” your childs online usage. We used to use Google Family to lock the kids phones when they were younger. But there are so many other apps that you can use that allow you to track their usage etc. These can be great to use for younger users or children who struggle with self regulation. 

7 Things I Think You Should be Checking*

  1. The apps they are downloading. 
  2. Whose numbers they have saved. 
  3. Who they are messaging AND who is messaging them.
  4. What they are watching.
  5. What they are listening to. 
  6. What they are sharing – this includes profile pictures, status updates etc. 
  7. How much time they are spending on certain apps. 

*By checking I mean make sure its appropriate not make sure that YOU like it. I don’t like Jack’s music but it is not inappropriate. Emma watches silly videos, I don’t enjoy them but they aren’t inappropriate. This is a very important distinction for me. 

Everyone parents their children differently and that is how it should be. We all have to do what works for us and our family. This is what we have done, it works for our family and how we want to raise our children. 

Share:

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
LinkedIn

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Keep Reading

Related Posts