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The million dollar question, are we sleeping yet?

If you have been following our sleep journey with Emma, you will know she is not one for sleep. It has been a 4 year long struggle, we win some battles but the war is still waging. At the moment we are what is described as co-sleepers! I managed to get 3 kids sleeping through and in their own bed without ever co-sleeping. I am not a huge fan of co-sleeping, I am not against it for YOU but for ME it just doesn’t work. But here we are, co-sleeping like all the other sleep deprived, aching joint co-sleeping parents out there. 

We have tried so many things over the past 2 years to get her to sleep in her own bed. We have bribed, begged, yelled, cried and more. I have tried offering her toys, chocolate, sweets, visits to somewhere she likes -NOTHING. 

Are we sleeping yet|HarassedMom

I want to actually pause here for a moment and ask you guys how you deal with an older child who refuses to get into and stay in their bed?

Letting them cry it out (if you are a fan) doesn’t work because they can physically climb out of their bed and all that happens (well in our home anyway) is she comes downstairs and cries there.

Smacking her is futile. Not that we have tried but think about it for a moment. Smack her and then what? She just climbs back out of bed! 

Closing the door? Nope I am not really going to lock my kid in her room to get her to sleep. That sounds a little like child abuse actually.

Star charts bombed with her.

So what else do you do? This is a serious question.

All that said we may have found a solution which I may be jinxing by sharing.

I went out on Monday night which meant David was on bedtime duty. Emma was happy to sleep in her bed provided Cameron lay with her. She fell asleep in her own bed and stayed there. She did give Cameron a bit of a run around but she did fall asleep. Last night she was happy again to go to sleep in her bed, but Cameron did have to lie with her again. But this time he left before she was asleep and she stayed in her own bed and slept most of the night there!

I have no idea if this is a permanent solution or if she is going to find her way back into my bed again but for now I am enjoying not having to go to bed at 19h00 every night. 

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11 Responses

  1. Have you tried a weighted blanket? That really helped my son when he had severe issues falling asleep. What totally fixed his sleep problems was when we discovered his brain wasn’t getting enough folate because of an MTHFR mutation. Changed his diet and got him on supplements and now it’s a piece of cake for him to fall asleep. The weighted blanket gets no attention anymore.

  2. We had a child who did not sleep…that is what it felt like. When he was little enough for it, I walked around with him tied to my body because then he was happy and would not cry. He was older and then we just walked up and down between our rooms all night and then decided to co-sleep. It took almost a year for us to learn how to co-sleep. He started sleeping through consistently at about 3.
    Getting him to fall asleep has never been a problem because we have had a strict bedtime routine, which we still follow now. Bath and straight to bed. He is indoctrinated to fall asleep after a bath/shower. Getting him to stay asleep in his own bed was the problem. I read on Dr. Sears site that sleeping through is a milestone, like learning to walk. You would not shout and smack if your child is not walking, why would you do it when they are still learning to sleep? I have no sleeping advice…patience is all I can say. We just let him co-sleep and occasionally at 6.5 years old he still asks to sleep in our bed sometimes, and we let him, because it won’t be forever.

  3. Great job with using the star chart for Cameron! For my two-year-old, we read him a bed time story, sing a song, say a prayer, “wrestle”, put on “sleepy time music” ( in no particular order)! Lol!

  4. Oh girl, I am so nervous about this! I’m due in June and will probably read this again after her arrives 🙂

  5. I really hope that trend continues. I feel your frustration. My kids never liked to co sleep but my daughter up until 3 had me up every night. For the toilet, water, to pick up her teddy. Exhausting!

  6. It can definitely be challenging with lack of sleep. I think the trick is to find the toddler bed they love. My kids love their toddler beds (finally!). Check out delta plastic toddler bed off amazon. We went with frozen but you can choose other characters too.

  7. Girl, I totally feel you. We have a two year old that refuses to sleep anywhere BUT her bed; our 5 year old?? Refuses to sleep anywhere but with us. It’s frustrating. I don’t have answers. But I want you to know that there are others like you — those of us who aren’t necessarily doing it because we want to; but doing it because life happens.

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