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Perspective

I have been pretty negative recently. Things have been tough. We have been too busy, there’s been too much going on. The kids have been under pressure, David and I have both been under pressure. Honestly I haven’t been able to see the silver lining.

After a really positive lunch with friends last week things started to turn around. I got my head out of my own backside and started to look around me. I very quickly gained perspective.

It was raining one morning on the way to school, a young girl who attends Kiara’s school was walking with her mom who had a baby on her back. It was raining. I stopped and took her to school. We have a car, with petrol so my kids do not have to walk to school in the rain!

Emma’s nanny has a disabled adult daughter. Once a month they go to the clinic for her check up. The daughter always sends me a message on the day they go to thank me for letting her mom come with her.

We experienced load shedding on Saturday and Sunday. It wasn’t pleasant and we all had a big moan about it. We had electricity that could be turned off, that’s more than a lot of people have.

I had a Santa Shoebox Celebration Day. These children were so grateful for the contents of their boxes.For most of them, that box is the only gift they will receive. Even though its a lean Christmas for us this year, I know my children will receive many gifts under the Christmas tree.

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There is a little down syndrome child in Jack’s class. This morning she walked in as I was walking out. She opened her arms wide towards and ran into my arms for the hugest hug. Her mom looked tired, she always looks tired. I have 4 healthy children whose issues do not compare to the challenges that that mom has to deal with.

There is a terrible video doing the rounds at the moment about a little girl. It is once again a reminder of just how much our society thrives on drama and ugliness. We have a wonderful nanny who loves Emma, who sits with her and plays all day. My heart breaks for that little girl and her parents.

None of these moments make my issues go away. They don’t pay the bills or buy the Christmas presents or sort out stationery packs. What they do though, is remind me how much I have to be grateful for and even when I have a little my family and I have much more than so many people.

These moments are reminders to stop wallowing, to stop feeling sorry for myself, to stop getting so caught up in our problems and remember that what we have.

What moments have you experienced recently that have given you perspective?

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13 Comments

  1. 25 November, 2014 / 9:51 am

    2 weeks ago it was our daughters creche graduation. We were looking forward to the day, but also feeling very emotional. The school didn’t get the hall they usually got for functions but had it at an enclosed lapa. There was also a Catrobatz demonstration beforehand, and we quickly realised that nobody other than the first row could see anything. While it was another age group dancing we were still on our seats but our 3 year old was not happy. Crying and moaning and not sitting still for one second. He couldn’t see, but also didn’t want to go and sit with the other kids at a spot where he could see.

    When it was my daughters turn for the dance I managed to get a spot (on the floor) where I could see and take video from, while my husband was taking photos. My husband said to the 3 year old if he doesn’t stay quiet now he must go and sit in the car. For the duration of the dance we have a video that bounces up and down as the 3 year old was pulling me to leave and the 3 year old that wails in the background ‘I want to go and sit in the car’. I was quietly getting angrier and angrier and more worked up, and when the graduation started I moved to the back because the 3 year old was bothering everyone. Even at the back he was still crying and fighting and I thought I was going to lose it with him, because I was missing most of the graduation because of him.

    There was a Mom and Dad standing in front of us, the Dad just looking forward, clenching his teeth. I thought it’s because we were bothering them as well. The Mom turned around and stared at the 3 year old for a long time, smiling, but with tears in her eyes. She then said he reminds her so much of her little boy. I then realised who it was standing in front of me. It was parents that had a 6 year old boy graduation with my daughter, but they also had a 4/5 year old boy in one of the younger classes that died a few months ago during complications after an appendix operation.

    That put everything in perspective for me, and all I could do was hug the 3 year old.

  2. 25 November, 2014 / 10:27 am

    Oh Laura, I need this today. We are exhausted – feel like there is nothing left inside. But this morning was C’s prize giving and my heart just sings for him. He did well – very well despite the fact that he is a lat in the year boy.

  3. 25 November, 2014 / 11:20 am

    This is just SO beautifully put, I really got a little teary, really puts things into perspective. I see you are following me (@BusinessMomZA) on Twitter, please join in the #GratefulMama campaign as we head towards the end of the year. A perspective can really help so many people who are having a tough time, just to see the blessings they have in their own life!
    <3
    Best wishes,
    Claire

  4. Ramona
    25 November, 2014 / 11:23 am

    For me it was reading an article in the Sunday Times.
    The stats were shocking.
    More than half the Kids in SA live in Poverty
    Few kids have access to running water.
    Many kids don’t have at have at least one parent who is employed.

  5. 25 November, 2014 / 1:21 pm

    That aweful video was what did it for me Lau. OMG, I cannot even think about how those parents must be feeling. And that child. That poor child.

    I am blessed beyond measure. So, so grateful.

    xxx

  6. Tash
    25 November, 2014 / 3:27 pm

    I see a family begging on the streets, mom dad and 2 kids.. all the time. for little bits of scraps.
    Even though i work ALL THE TIME and have no outside life beyond my family, I am still able to work and it helps even more that I love what I do..

    (still though, some free time would be nice hehe)

  7. Stephanie
    25 November, 2014 / 3:50 pm

    Yep def need this article you wrote to get me out of my i wish we had more, thanks really needed it xxxx

  8. Heather
    25 November, 2014 / 6:37 pm

    I am lately feeling very grateful for having my child – I still follow infertility blogs who don’t have that miracle yet. I find I worry too much about having a second child when I shouldn’t waste that time when I could be appreciating the one I have.

  9. 25 November, 2014 / 8:54 pm

    Well, I just heard about the sad news this evening and D drives me nuts sometimes, but at least he’s here.

    • 25 November, 2014 / 8:56 pm

      PS it’s kids who don’t have food or clothes that do it for me. No one is going hungry here and the drawers can’t close there’s so much. I actually packed out about 3 – 4 sets of outfits from each child so the drawers could close and told Mary to take them for her 3 year old and Edson for his kid.

  10. 27 November, 2014 / 1:55 pm

    …and then Lisa-Marie loses her soul mate…and you realise just how much there is to be thankful for every single day. xx

  11. 30 November, 2014 / 1:33 pm

    It’s been a sucky year for me!!! BUT I still have so much to be grateful for. My dad is still with us and fingers crossed will make Christmas and in 4 weeks I get to meet our newest addition. I’d say that’s pretty darn high up on the list of things to be grateful for!!
    I think as the end of the year looms we’re all tired, even more sleep deprived and just trying to make it to Christmas that it’s easy to moan about our lot, but you’re right there’s always something to be thankful for!!

  12. 1 December, 2014 / 7:37 pm

    Oh man. My perspective came with that awful news last week. It gave me the shock that I needed because I am AWFUL to my husband (and my kids) in the mornings and who knows! That could be the last goodbye. Sjoe.

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