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So who will do it then?

For the most part I think I am doing an ok job parenting my kids. David and I make a balanced team and all 3 of my off spring seem happy and well adjusted (forget about the one who ran away for a moment).

Then something happens that makes me feel like I have achieved nothing!

We have a “day system” in our house – every day a different child is on duty – all they have to do is set and clear the table, pack/unpack the dishwasher, feed the dog and whoever’s day it is on a Wednesday must take the rubbish bin to the gate. I don’t think this is unreasonable at all – they are 8 and 10 so are able to do all of this.

Wednesday was Kiara’s day so she had to take the bin out. So she starts moaning and groaning. I ignore her but she is in my face with her sulking and whinging about how it’s gross and can’t she do it next week. Eventually I loose my patience and shout at her. Off she goes but not without drama – there were apparently maggots on the bin (when I asked her to show me she has apparently killed them all) and then the bin was too heavy.

This general moaning doesn’t bug me to much what really upset me was when I asked her who is going to do it if she doesn’t – she replied “Fanie (gardener) or David”. I saw red!!! She honestly believes that it is beneath her to take the bin out – a bin that she helped fill up!

It really bothers me that she has this sense of entitlement about her. This is the most recent event but when we the nanny was still here both her and Cameron would tell me to get Josephine to do it. I hate it!

I don’t know if there is a problem somewhere with my parenting and the lessons they are learning or maybe she is still to young to understand it all?

Do your kids have chores? How do they react to them? Those of you with full time help how do your kids react to them? Do they expect them to do it or do they take some responsibility?




  1. 18 January, 2013 / 9:46 am

    The entitlement thing is the same with all kids, and the only thing I think we can do is keep chipping away at them until one day we see that it has sunk in! My kids also used to want to “tell the domestic employee to do it” and of course here in the UK we don’t have one -and believe me it’s made a massive difference. They realise now the buck stops with them and my mantra is “you mess? YOU CLEAN” nothing wrong with kids learning to pack/unpack dishwasher, wipe down surfaces and even vacuum!

  2. 18 January, 2013 / 1:51 pm

    Still struggling with the student. ๐Ÿ˜‰ (So good luck!)
    She gets all puffed up when being asked to do something extra, but I just ignore the face and she just have to do it!

    Now I don’t have any grand illusions to do it better with the youngest! ๐Ÿ˜€
    I think it is good to give them some tasks, and not let them get away not doing it!

  3. 18 January, 2013 / 2:12 pm

    Oh I do think here in SA our kids are spoiled a bit – and maybe not all parents go to the extent to teach their kids to do chores so they hear it from others. We insist on simple chores but we are still in baby shoes on this front

  4. 18 January, 2013 / 4:06 pm

    I can talk about myself and say growing up we had chores and lots of them even though we had help. My mum made it clear she paid the help to work for her not us! And she always reminded us that if she didn’t train us to be responsible no one else would!!!!! I kind of “hated” her for it, but I must admit it was the best thing she ever did. They might moan now, but in future they will thank you.

    Kids these days (no thanks to their parents) feel like everything should be done for them. But you can’t blame them when you hear of parents clearing up after the kids finish eating ๐Ÿ™

  5. 19 January, 2013 / 1:04 pm

    My children also had chores when they were still at home…and yes they never did it without moaning and groaning. We had a domestic worker at that time that helped raise them and she spoiled them rotten…so when I turned my back she did it. Today I just smile when my boys complaint that their children don’t want to do their chores…how quickly did they forget ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. 19 January, 2013 / 1:44 pm

    LOL this is a subject I’m passionate about.

    My kids have been doing chores since they were 9 months old (tidying their toys).

    My children are normal though in that there are some things they don’t enjoy and these we have to enforce but I mentioned on your blog before that they don’t get to eat or go out or have a bath (all things they love) until things are done. So they do it.

    If I get a “why can’t you?” then I say, “because I didn’t mess it up”

    This morning Connor helped me load the washing machine and hang up the laundry afterwards, Kendra tidied and folded clothes and D got on with the dishes while I cleaned the kitchen. Team work – I’m big into team work because then we can ALL relax.

    At home, I have a star chart for chores so if I see dishes aren’t cleared after meals, I say, “Kendra, have you forgotten about clearing the table? You don’t want a star tonight?” and in a flash, the things are clear!


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