I don’t think I have been this tired since those early newborn days. It is a tired that gets into your bones and wears you out completely. This time though, I can’t “blame” a newborn, it is entirely of my own doing. My life motto includes a lot of “winging it” which works for me until it doesn’t. It is not working right now because I am lacking the structure I need to be more productive but less exhausted. I am working on changing that.
I haven’t really blogged about the children much but parenting is weighing me down at the moment. It happens from time to time. We had an incident last night that I am not able to share here but it has left me drained. It is a situation I feel unable to control, which is not ideal. The second issue that is really getting me down is Emma.
You would think by now I would have figured out this parenting a 3 year old thing right? I mean this is the fourth time I am doing it. Except I feel like I am wading in pool of mud with dark glasses on in the middle of the night with weights on my feet. No really, it feels like that EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
At school she is fine, independent, happy, listens, helps her friends. With David (if I am not in the house) she is the picture perfect child. With David’s mom she is cute personified. With me, she is exhausting. I am the ONLY one who can do anything for her. It doesn’t matter if David is making food for everyone, I must make her food. I must hand it to her. I must make her tea. I must pull up her pants after she has been to the loo.
Of course we have tried to get David to do it. Of course I have ignored her pants around her ankles. She just screams and screams and SCREAMS. And then she takes a breathe and screams some more. Then she throws some things. We put her in time out, she throws a few more things all while screaming like we are sawing her leg off with a butter knife.
Bedtime is my worst time of the day. She will not sleep unless I lie with her. But even then she does not fall asleep. It is an hour of going to wee, answering questions like “What happens when you lick your eye?”, demanding I tell her how Kiara cries, moving blankets, changing cushions, making and remaking her tea. By the end of it I have shouted, she has cried and we finally fall asleep out of exhaustion from the last hour.
Again we have tried to stop the cycle and let David put her down. She cries but she will cry for over an hour. Not normal volume, upset crying more like angry, intense, loud wailing.
I don’t know how to deal with this. I make sure to spend a little extra time with her every day. Even if it is just sitting together on the couch while we watch Frozen. We don’t get much one-on-one time but I do try to take her with me to the shops or play with just her.
I know that this will pass, well I think I know it will pass. Some days I feel like I am going to be stuck with the screaming sounds of my 3 year old as the sound track of my life forever.
Parenting is just one massive guessing game isn’t it. We sort of just muddle our way through each day hoping that something we do stops the crying. I can say, though, with 110% certainty that what works for one child does not automatically work for another, which automatically means that even buying a parenting book to try help you won’t necessarily work.
I can also say, one of the disadvantages of having a toddler and a teen in the house is that dealing with a toddler and teen in the same day is exhausting.
How are those of you with three year olds coping? Is it just me in the tiring three year old trenches? Please say no!
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