The other night there was a twitter talk about money and your EQ. I caught a bit of the discussion and actually want to go back to read the whole thing. (If you are interested search #HeartMindMoney). One of the discussions was around how our attitude to money comes from how we grew up.
This year has been a bit rough for us financially, we are working through it and it will start getting better but David and I handle this stress very differently and I do think that it is a result of the way we grew up.I stress, in fact actually I freak out. I go a little bat shit crazy to be honest. It has a very tangible affect on me which then has a ripple affect on my family. I need a plan. I need to do something, talk about, brainstorm. David is a lot calmer. He takes it in his stride. He doesn’t really need to talk about it. He has this deep belief that it will all be ok (which it always is). He has also been earning a commission based salary for nearly 10 years so he is used to the up and down.
This definitely stems from our upbringing. My dad is a planner. From the day he started working he planned for his retirement. He was disciplined, he saved, he had limited debt and I think he always knew what was happening financially. Even when things were tough, he always had a plan. He may not be a millionaire (but he may be I have no idea to be honest) but he is now retired and him and my mom are able to maintain the lifestyle they had when they were working. Isn’t that the goal?
On the other side Davids mom was a single mom so there wasn’t always money. She started her own business a few years ago, which meant money was there, then it wasn’t. She has a attitude of “the money will come” which I am learning to embrace. David and his brother always had what they needed, so while there may not have always been a set plan, there was always enough.
So while I do not have the financial savvy my dad does, I do function better when there is a plan and security but David doesn’t. While I think that both have their benefits, at the moment I have had to lean towards David’s side to function and not get so stressed out I eat all the carbs and drink all the wine. David earns commission which means we will never have a set salary, the nature of the work I invoice for also means I won’t get a set salary at a set time. This makes planning a challenge, not impossible but challenging so I need to learn to have a little faith and work with what we do have creatively.
Has the way you were raised affected your relationship with money? Are you a planner or a go with the flow-er?
11 Responses
I’m definitely a planner , it will be interesting now that I’m going to be a wahm but I always remember my godmother, she was extremely frugal,stable and never “wasted” on herself she died with a bank balance that is now funding the new wife…hehe
ella recently posted…Kiddie crafts – a tree of sorts
I have heard so many stories like this Ella. It is so sad that this happens! Planning becomes really tough when the income varies!
You and Hubby sound like my hubby and I. I stress and always have to have a plan. He plans but he doesn’t stress even when hings are tough. If things are not going as planned I have sleepless nights, my hubby doesn’t get it. I do believe a lot has to do with upbringing but so much can be learnt too
Mrs FF recently posted…Wordless Wednesday… kind of
It can be frustrating Mrs FF but somehow things always do work out.
I just posted something to my FB timeline – along the same lines as this post.
I do think it has to do with how you were brought up BUT I believe we either follow that, or go completely opposite.
We 3 were brought up the same – my brother spends everything in sight, my sister saves and doesn’t spend a thing, and I’m in between – healthy savings but I like to think I live a good life too 🙂
But undoubtedly, I am MUCH happier with a plan and a stable income. If I feel out of control anywhere, I do the budget and I feel much calmer 🙂
Marcia (123 blog) recently posted…Banned from my camera
So am I apparently Marcia!
I try to be a planner, but I’m more of a “it’ll work out” person. I know that I’m terrible with money because of what I grew up seeing and hearing…and I don’t want to be like that, but am battling to change it.
Cassey Toi recently posted…Five for Friday
I found the quickest way for me to change my habits was to track every cent we spent. I did it for almost a year. Was interesting to see what we actually spent vs what we THOUGHT we spent.
I think I go with the flow too much and I need to plan. I do have a spreadsheet I write everything down my husband made for me – his balances but mine doesn’t. He is more of a planner but he can also go overboard just as much as me.
Heather recently posted…Energy Management for Kids
Really Heather? I honestly would have thought you were a planner :))
I don’t know…my brother and I have very different approaches to money. *shrug*
I will say that I had a much more easy going attitude to it before I went through a patch of not having any.